Articles on adoption

Seven top tips for adoptive parents Part 2

Seven top tips for adoptive parents Part 2

Robyn Wolfson Vorster In this two-part article, the focus is on how we as adoptive parents, can best parent our adoptees.  Part 1 contained tips 1-4.  This article explores the last three. 5. Your child should not remember the first time they heard their adoption story Years ago, I watched an episode of the sitcom “Friends” where Chandler inadvertently told...

Seven top tips for adoptive parents Part 1

Seven top tips for adoptive parents Part 1

by Robyn Wolfson Vorster  As adoptive parents, we should constantly be learning how to parent our adoptees better, which led me to documenting these seven top tips for adoptive parents, along with some related dos and don’ts.  But first a disclaimer.   I am a step-mother, a biological mother, an adoptive mom and even a grandmother.  It makes me a veteran...

Sounding the death knell for adoption

Sounding the death knell for adoption

Robyn Wolfson Vorster The 2016 World Adoption Day celebrations are proving muted, overshadowed by the election soap opera in America, and here at home by the crushing disclosure that there were only 1,165 adoptions last year. In a country with 3-million orphans and tens of thousands of crisis pregnancies annually, adoptions have stuttered and, in some cases, stopped. While...

All they want for Christmas is a family

All they want for Christmas is a family

This Christmas many of the 21,000 children living in 355 registered Child and Youth Care Centres dotted across South Africa (and even perhaps some of the 2,000 living in 115 unregistered ones) will receive gifts from companies, schools and kind-hearted strangers. But who are these children and why are they in care this Christmas? Behind the statistics are little...

Families for the lonely

Families for the lonely

For the sake of my family and my sanity, I work hard to keep the emotion of what I do at bay. This week it all unravelled over a cup of tea, a cuddly yellow bunny and an innocent question. The week started with a chat with a formidable member of the National Assembly. As we sipped our tea,...

Adopting your baby–YOU magazine article

Adopting your baby–YOU magazine article

                                                          Or see this article on adopting your baby online in www.you.co.za: Many couples yearn for a baby of their own, but are challenged by circumstances and reproductive issues. Luckily, adoption can open...

Black, not like me. Questioning transracial adoption.

Black, not like me. Questioning transracial adoption.

By Robyn Wolfson Vorster I saw a beautiful adoption picture this morning.  It was of a mom and dad, each kissing a cheek of a gorgeous baby. The caption read: “When God made her, he had us in mind.” It was compelling. I found myself looking at it for a long time, enjoying the words, and wondering if I should...

Our “Heart Mama” story

Our “Heart Mama” story

Our story as told on the Heart Mama Blog on 5th December 2014. Tell us a bit about your family. This year marks the 21st anniversary of the year when Neil and I first met.  We were friends for years before we finally surprised ourselves by falling in love.  We’ve now been married for 13 years and run a...

Avoiding adoption pitfalls I: Problems with the process

Avoiding adoption pitfalls I: Problems with the process

How to safeguard your family when the adoption process goes wrong by Robyn Wolfson Vorster They are the stories that make the headlines—weeping adoptive families saying final goodbyes to distraught, confused or hysterical children, couples telling stories about life-altering adoption scams or parents relating how their adoptive child’s behavioural problems has negatively affected their lives. It may make for...

Avoiding adoption pitfalls II: Problems with attachment

Avoiding adoption pitfalls II: Problems with attachment

What to do if your child struggles with attachment by Robyn Wolfson Vorster Regardless of the process that you use to adopt, adoptions can still go wrong if the child doesn’t attach or exhibits profound behavioural problems.   Internationally, this is the adoption-related issue that receives the most attention, especially in first world countries where adopted children are often older...

Why so many men don’t want to adopt

Why so many men don’t want to adopt

Why some men struggle with adoption by Robyn Wolfson Vorster People talk to me now. It may sound odd, but since we adopted our daughter loads of strangers suddenly want to chat. The conversation varies but when I am speaking to women, one theme seems to come up over and over again. They chat animatedly for a bit and...

Is adoption for you? 5 questions for infertile couples to consider

Is adoption for you? 5 questions for infertile couples to consider

If you are struggling with infertility is adoption for you? By Robyn Wolfson Vorster I will always remember that moment. It was the day before we discovered that our fifth and final attempt at IVF had failed. We were celebrating my husband’s birthday when the thought popped (unbidden) into my head, “what will you do if this one fails...